When a family member, friend, co-worker, or neighbor has endured a loss, the first instinct is to offer comfort. But how? What words should be used, or not used? What is an appropriate gesture? Many grief experts advise the most important thing a person can do for someone grieving is be a caring presence. This CareNote offers ways to simply “be there” for your loved one in sections entitled: “What should I say — or not,” “Listen to what they want to say,” “Actions can speak for you,” “Grief is a lifelong process,” and “Welcome the God-talk.” By Joel Schorn